Alienware Laptop: The 'Good Place' of Laptops
Alienware R1 M16 Laptop Review: Lapchonk Supreme!
The world of gaming laptops has given us beasts, titans, and powerhouses. And now, let me introduce to you - the Alienware R1 M16 or as we affectionately dub it, the “Lapchonk”. Never has a device so brilliantly merged the design concepts of a laptop and 1960s Dodge Coronet vehicle.
Tech Specs
- Processor: AMD 7845HX is nice.
- Storage: Doesn’t matter. Just go buy handfuls of Samsung 990 drives on Amazon
- RAM: Save the cost of a second new laptop by upgrading to 64gb for $130USD on Amazon. Not $700USD from Dell.
- Graphics: RTX 4080. Stunning visuals, for the most part, when not distracted by the lightbulb with a moth stuck it.
- Display: 240hz QHD display. A screen almost as bright as the bug light. The bezel corners double as wire cutters.
- Ports: Comes with oddly placed ports back there somewhere near the rear thrusters. HDMI feels like a USB port in the dark.
- Trackpad: Sensitive enough for a man, tough enough for a woman. Not usually where you think the button press would be.
- Keyboard: Nice.
Design
Upon first gaze, the Lapchonk gives you the unmistakable feeling of looking at an iPad Pro glued to a Roomba. Sleek, efficient, and almost as heavy. This thing screams “take me to your desk, if it can even hold me!”
The illuminated bug light power button, complete with its own resident moth, ensures you can always find the power button in the dark. Though, randomly the lightbulb goes blood red and starts flashing demonic warnings. That’s a thing. Reboot. Seems to calm the laptop down.
Power Adapter
Let’s discuss the power adapter, or should I say, the backup anchor for your pontoon boat. Describing it as “sizable” is the understatement of the century. They’ve truly redefined the concept of the “power brick” – by giving us an actual brick.
Performance
Its prowess can be summed up in the words of my wife, “It’s loud, whatever it’s doing.” And well, I can’t disagree.
Pros
- It functions – the majority of the time. Not all. Just mostly all.
- The power brick is impressive, not just in size but also in power output.
- Keyboard is nice.
- Network cable plug protection is fun to open and close repeatedly, it’d be a shame if the power adapter had a way to stay connected too…
Cons
- Need to stay plugged in? Good luck. Keeping it to stay connected in is like a greased-up pig on a slip and slide trying to stay still, just won’t happen.
- The power cable connector actually gets bent at an angle, from its own weight, like a certain tower in a place called Pisa.
- The unforgiving bezel’s cable gap trap can make any wired devices wireless. Plug into the only ports in back, do some work, close the screen shut, and voila! Your cabled device is now truly wireless, or at least, a piece of it is thank’s to its refined edges.
- Runs warm. Even asleep a random will fan spin up and then back down again. No idea why. I think as a reminder, that even as you try to sleep, that it’s ready to go.
Final Verdict
Lapchonk is like winning your favorite dessert for life – made entirely of non-sugar, non-gluten, high fiber, fast acting diuretics, it’s great, but it has issues that sneak up on you.
It is the “Good Place” of laptops… you want to love everything, but it’s all just kind of … not right.
It’s a “Good Laptop”.
Would I recommend it?
It’s good.
UPDATE: Think my sound card is dead already..- –. ….